Below are common health related questions that Jenn, Shafia and HIPE receive, we wanted to provide a space for easily accessible answers. If you have a question, click the box above to ask!
First, sex can be defined differently for different people. Because our culture often uses the word “sex” to describe vaginal sex and because I can’t ask you to clarify, I’m going to answer this question assuming that’s what was meant.
For vaginal sex, it’s really helpful for the person with the vagina to be relaxed. If they’re feeling nervous, their body can tense, thus making sex uncomfortable. It’s really important for them to be comfortable with their partner (i.e. have conversations!!!) so they can feel relaxed. Also being fully sexually aroused helps. Physiologically, it takes a person with a vagina’s body longer to respond to sexual arousal than it does for a person with a penis. During sexual arousal, a vagina actually grows in size. As they continue to feel excited, their vagina produces a natural lubrication that will help sex feel better. A store bought lubrication can also be used liberally to create less friction. Vaginas and penises all vary in size, so it’s possible that a person with a vagina’s cervix sits lower, which can cause discomfort if the penis hits it. Different positions can help, if that’s the situation. If it does hurt, don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about it and explore different ways to make each other feel good.